We watch Beetlejuice for the first time! Join medium, Birdie, and paranormal investigator, Robert, who talk about their experience watching Beetlejuice for the first time, assumptions about the movie, and how they felt about the undertones of the story.
TRANSCRIPT ● SPIRIT DIARIES ● EPISODE 002
[Silly, spooky music playing]
Birdie: Hello and welcome to the Spirit Diaries.
Robert: I’m Robert.
Birdie: And I’m Birdie and we are your hosts—
Robert: With the most—
Birdie: Spirits—
Robert: And weirdness!
[laughing]
Birdie: We can’t do this every time.
Robert: I know.
[laughing]
Birdie: So first off, we just want to say a huge thank you to our patrons! You guys are what keeps this podcast going. You are what keeps us inspired. You make all of this possible so a special shout out to JCLO, Jennifer, Christina, Randy, Chemically Feline, Jody, Amy and Liam! Thank you all.
Robert: I love all of you . . . individually.
Birdie: On a scale of 1 how much do you specifically love Randy?
Robert: At least an 11. I’m looking at you Randy.
[laughing]
Birdie: So, I am a medium. And because I grew up seeing spirits, I have been absolutely horrified of them. I was really scared of the real ones I experienced as a kid and most of all I never understood why anybody would want to watch a scary movie because why would you watch a scary movie when real life is just so scary?
Robert: They still get you occasionally today.
Birdie: What?
Robert: Spirit’s being scary.
Birdie: Oh yeah. Some of them are very scary.
[laughing]
Birdie: I mean especially you know ones that aren’t necessarily human and I’m not saying demons there’s a whole slew of things that are non-human entities . . . a little bit spookier.
Robert: Right.
Birdie: But yeah, or some of them are gory uh but that’s rare nowadays uh not rare when I was a kid. But yeah. I, yeah, I do get startled sometimes. I’m better.
Robert: You are and I’ve never liked scary movies because I find them incredibly illogical and they make me angry.
Birdie: And because of that we’ve never seen any scary movies which is absolutely baffling to you all because if you’re watching this you probably enjoy a good paranormal movie, so we have decided to watch some movies and catch up on the last lifetime of—
Robert: Like 40 years.
Birdie: —that we’ve missed. 40 years? Scary movies have been around longer than forty years.
Robert: I know but our movie most recently I think was from the 80s so about 40 years.
Birdie: Yes. So, we watched Beetlejuice and if you do want to see our full reaction during the movie to Beetlejuice and watch that all go down it’s over on Patreon. But yeah Beetlejuice! I had never seen it.
Robert: Also known as Betelgeuse [pronounced horribly wrong].
Birdie: Is that actually that’s how you pronounce it?
Robert: No, no. That’s how it’s spelled.
Birdie: Oh, okay. Yeah, so there’s this thing where it’s spelled one way and then it’s spelled with a space sometimes and it has the real spelling of Betelgeuse and they’re like, “Ha, ha let’s spell it like Beetle Juice. It’s funny.” I don’t get it. I don’t understand why there’s a space in there sometimes I researched it they said maybe it was an editor who didn’t know what movie they were editing.
Robert: Just seven different people editing the same thing they’re just like, I guess.
Birdie: I don’t know. But Betelgeuse is a red super giant that is one of the brightest stars in the sky.
Robert: So, it is a real thing.
Birdie: It’s-it’s a real name, yes.
Robert: Okay.
Birdie: Beetlejuice is not a real person.
Robert: Betelgeuse [pronounced horribly wrong].
[laughing]
Birdie: Before we watch this movie, I made some predictions about what I thought it was going to be about. I had decided that—
Robert: Strap in [laughs]
Birdie: What?
Robert: Go ahead [laughs]
Birdie: [Grumpy noise] I had decided it was about a beetle man.
Robert: Yep.
Birdie: Who wore a black and white suit because I have seen what he wears. And the beetle man was like Bloody Mary to where if you said his name three times he would pop up and scare the living crap out of you. And then I theorized that the people in the movie were going to get in a car crash and die.
Robert: Yeah, that one was good.
Birdie: And I was right!
Robert: Yeah, that one was good.
Birdie: Okay, so, spoiler alert if you’re just like me and have never seen Beetlejuice . . . it starts off with Jane the worst person I’ve ever experienced.
Robert: I agree. Jane was awful.
Birdie: This hand is doing so much because I hate . . . I-I hate Jane. Jane is the absolute villain and I don’t understand why we cannot villainize her more. This lady comes over the house while this couple is having fun.
Robert: Right!
Birdie: They’re having a good time whatever and she’s just like, “oh my God you’re infertile and that basically means you’re never gonna have a real family.” Can we can we vote that Jane was the one to go off the bridge instead?
Robert: Oh, I-I really wish she was because she’s like you need to move let me sell your house to
a real family can live here and it’s like bitch.
Birdie: What is not a real family about two people? I’m sorry we’re a family of two people we are never, never ever having children. This is a family.
Robert: Right.
Birdie: I absolutely hated that notion and unfortunately this is something that carries through the movie that you’re not valuable─
Robert: Worthy?
Birdie: If you’re not a family. I mean even in the end with them almost adopting Lydia as a kid which is fine. I’m not anti-children. Absolutely not anti-child but the notion─
Robert: That’s not where your self-worth comes from.
Birdie: Right? The notion that there is now a family like [sounds of disgust]. I-I didn’t like it. I thought this was a horrible way to start off a movie I thought she was a horrible villain and I-I just I didn’t . . . I didn’t like it.
Robert: So, if you’re watching look at me Jane right here. Fuck you, Jane.
[laughing]
Birdie: Yeah Jane, fuck you.
Robert: In the movie. If there’s someone named Jane actually watching this not you, I promise.
Birdie: Oh my gosh. It’s just so frustrating so I immediately started off very annoyed with this movie. I do want to point out that I did love that nothing was CGI in this and I think that was a really cool thing for them to do. I enjoyed the artistic aspect of Beetlejuice.
Robert: Yeah.
Birdie: Another thing that I hated as I watched this is that if you die by suicide, you become a civil servant working in an undead version of the DMV.
Robert: Yeah, that was pretty awful and they make a joke about it. She’s like I wouldn’t have done this if I knew and it’s like whoa . . . Pretty dark.
Birdie: Right? I didn’t like it. I don’t like that they took that stance. Suicide is obviously such a sensitive topic. I understand this is an older movie but still . . . I didn’t like it! Oh my God it was horrible. I did not find it funny I did not find it cute I thought it was very sad and as a medium, that’s just not true. That’s not true. Not true at all and I think it bothered me a little bit. So, wait we didn’t talk about have you seen Beetlejuice before?
Robert: I seen clips of it I believe a very long time ago but I’ve never watched the whole movie outright. I’ve seen the iconic dancing scene at the end but it was out of context because I’d never seen it so I’ve seen bits and pieces but never the full thing.
Birdie: Were you surprised by any of this?
Robert: I don’t remember any of it because when I did see those bits and pieces, I was really young. So, I did not have any context of the storyline or anything so I was definitely like that’s an interesting take.
Birdie: Right. I really liked that Lydia can see the dead because, “I myself am strange and unusual.” I love that and I like how everybody could see spirits if they wanted to. I thought that was something that’s super cool and sort of how I feel about society. I feel like if we all just really wanted to, we could. I liked it.
Robert: Too bad yours weren’t just a nice couple that were friendly towards you when you were a kid.
Birdie: Yeah . . .
Robert: [laughs] If only.
Birdie: [Sad laughs] I mean they did make scary face at her one time, right?
Robert: I think it was unintentional. I don’t think it was at her.
Birdie: Hm . . . I mean I definitely wouldn’t have seen sheet people and went, “oh what’s inside!” That was not me. I would have seen sheet people and ran to my parents and been like mom, dad please let me sleep on the floor of your room again.
Robert: No, you would have run into their room and you would have stood there until they noticed you and you would have scared the crap out of your parents.
[laughing]
Birdie: I did that. I used to run into their room and I would stand at their bed because every time I woke them up, they got scared. So when I got scared in the night, yeah, I would run in their room and I would just stand in the corner of the room and wait for one of them to roll over because you know if you roll over sometimes you open your eyes.
Robert: In the dark.
Birdie: And then, yeah, and then my Dad would see me and be like [startled noise].
[laughing]
Birdie: And then it’s like what’s wrong? And it’s like um there’s a dead person in my room. I see a ghost. Can I sleep in here? And I started off being able to sleep on the floor, on a cot at the end of their bed. Then it was the doorway that I had to sleep at. Then the cot got moved to the middle of the room outside of their room right and then it was to the couch. And then it was to the other couch.
Robert: You slowly got pushed back towards your bedroom.
Birdie: Yeah, my bedroom is haunted. Sorry to my little brother who lives in that room now. But Beetlejuice . . . I hate him. He’s a child predator.
Robert: Yeah.
Birdie: Who apparently killed himself because it’s mentioned that he used to work in the DMV.
Robert: Right. It was super unclear because the one lady said that he was her─
Birdie: Co-worker.
Robert: Yeah. She was his mentor or something.
Birdie: Yeah. She said they used to work together or something so that means he had to have committed suicide to end up there.
Robert: But found a loophole and does not work for civil as a civil servant anymore.
Birdie: Right?
Robert: Somehow. But everyone else does?
Birdie: Right! I want I want to know what happened. We need more Beetlejuice backstory. I also hated him because he kept trying to assault women like, ew. The whole movie he was just like . . . not only was he going after children but he was lifting up people’s skirts and it was just very uncomfortable to watch.
Robert: He’s creepy and he was rubbing people’s legs and stuff. It was very off-putting.
Birdie: And I feel like I would have enjoyed Beetlejuice a lot more had we had different life experiences, like the comment about the couple not having children really started me off hating this movie. But I didn’t hate Beetlejuice. I do think it was cute. I did like a lot of different aspects of it.
Robert: It had funny moments
Birdie: Yeah, it overall though . . . oof there’s some hard not aging well messages in that movie.
Robert: There’s some dark themes in there which worries me for a sequel.
Birdie: Which they have announced that there is a sequel but isn’t but there is.
Robert: It’s in the works, potentially, being talked about which should be interesting and I actually wouldn’t mind watching because I’m curious of how they’re going to get away with a lot of that same style of humor that people coming back to it are going to expect in today’s climate. How are you going to approach that type of humor correctly?
Birdie: Yeah, I heard it’s potentially with Beetlejuice’s son. Which how does that work? Are we doing a Harry Potter, Voldemort, somehow has a child?
Robert: That’s very strange.
Birdie: And then the son is Johnny Depp.
Robert: [laughs] What?
Birdie: Because, um, duh. Johnny Depp.
Robert: Jack Sparrow is Beetlejuice’s son. Jackjuice.
Birdie: Jackjuice?
Robert: Jackjuice! That doesn’t sound okay. It doesn’t sound okay at all. I veto the name.
Birdie: Jackjuice, Jackjuice, Jackjuice
Robert: [elongated oh sound]
[laughing]
Robert: That’s how he appears! [elongated oh sound]
Birdie: You can’t make that face!
[laughing]
Birdie: But I would like to see a sequel. There was supposed to be a sequel right afterword that was a beach movie with Beetlejuice. It was Beetlejuice goes to Hawaii.
Robert: Which makes sense because that is the next logical progression it’s Beetlejuice in Hawaii.
Birdie: But I’m also confused because the movie is named Beetlejuice but Beetlejuice had 15 minutes in the whole movie that felt way too long.
Robert: Yeah.
Birdie: Why is it named after him when he was such not a factor at all?
Robert: Right? It was more about the couple that died and the living couple than it was about him. That was weird that he didn’t have nearly as much screen time as everybody else.
Birdie: Yeah, it was really weird. I don’t know. I am curious to see what they do with it now. I’m glad we watched it. It’s something that I’ve always heard people talk about and it was something that I definitely was scared of as a kid because I knew there was the three name thing and I was horrified of Bloody Mary and I was like, “oh my God, Beetlejuice is a Bloody Mary type of person. I’m so scared you can’t say it! Ew, ew, ew.” So, yeah . . . whenever it was on TV I was so scared because I’m like, “oh my God if they say it three times on TV . . . ah! Turn it off!”
Robert: He’s gonna appear in your house.
Birdie: Yeah.
Robert: The predator that tries to assault you.
Birdie: [Whimpers] That’s more scary than Bloody Mary to be completely honest with you . . . Let’s get real. Beetlejuice was the OG paranormal influencer who just liked talking about demons.
Robert: [Laughs] He inspired so many future ghost hunters.
Birdie: Right? When the commercial came on and he’s like, “yeah demons, demons, demons, demons!” I was like wait . . . you remind me of someone and I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Robert: Many someone’s. I’ve met many of you.
Birdie: Yeah, it was cute. I did enjoy the movie. It was a definite ease in to my scary movie browsing and if you have any suggestions please let us know because in addition to never watching scary movies I haven’t heard of most scary movies so I don’t know the names of them. Someone said The Shining. I don’t even know what that is.
Robert: I know what that is.
Birdie: A shiny knife.
Robert: [laughs] I don’t know let’s see.
Birdie: A shiny . . . shiny moon!
Robert: That’s definitely it. It’s a shiny moon.
Birdie: A shiny knife and a shiny moon.
Robert: So, send us the movies that you would like us to watch.
Birdie: I have seen every single Disney movie though, oh and Harry Potter.
Robert: Halloweentown high [laughs].
Birdie: I didn’t watch Halloweentown High. I did not like that they replaced Marnie.
Robert: That’s true because she got too old.
Birdie: There was there’s some drama with that whole thing that we are just not gonna get into today.
Robert: Off topic.
Birdie: We should watch Halloweentown! Do you know the second Halloweentown scared me so bad but see─
[laughing]
Birdie: The little faces! It scared me. And . . . what was that movie? Spy Kids! Spy Kids was so scary, oh.
Robert: So, this is your this is your showing of how much these movies are going to freak out Birdie to where Halloweentown, a Disney Channel movie, and Spy Kids were the things that terrified her.
Birdie: Okay, the thumbs were unsettling. You have to admit the thumbs were─
Robert: They were weird but─
Birdie: The face twisty that was some horror movie crap.
Robert: That really bothered you.
Birdie: Yeah, it was very scary.
Robert: [laughs] Boy is she in for it!
Birdie: Yay. I was a kid. I was sheltered and I mean it’s just something that’s never come up in adulthood. There’s never been a reason for me to watch a scary movie because if I want to watch a scary movie I just open my eyes and go, “Hello, Spirits!” like . . . I mean, why? [nervously laughs] I’m so nervous. I’m laughing hysterically. I have seen Sixth Sense and it changed me forever because I was definitely not watching scary movies because that was way too real . . . and our cat just threw confetti of kibbles.
Robert: Yay.
Birdie: Thank you all for watching the Spirit Diaries and we will see you all next time.
Robert: Okay, love you, bye!
Birdie: Bye!
[Investigative piano music plays]